Members of the Bromocracy, when I sat at my desk in my Hefner-approved smoking jacket and wrote the original draft of “The Bro Code” on paper made of recycled vintage Playboys, I thought the words were as permanent as Megan Fox’s tattoos. But now – and this thought just randomly occurred to me and was not motivated by anything that actually happened in my life – I realize that the Bro Code is a living document and should be altered as circumstances warrant. But it is not for me to make changes unilaterally, the Bro Code belongs to us all now, and so I put before you a proposition for an additional amendment.

Pertaining to Bro / Sister Relations
Put on the ballot by B. Stinson

As currently stated, Amendment III to the Bro Code modifies Article 19 and allows for the banging of sisters provided they are a “9 or higher.” This proposition would effectively close this loophole, allowing no banging of sisters, regardless of hotness, with the exception of Beyonce. (Sorry Nixon Knowles, but you understand, bro.)

What Your Vote Means
A “YES” vote would close the dangerous loophole present in Amendment III of the Bro Code that allows for the sullying of siblings provided they are smoking hot.

A “NO” vote would allow Bros to continue to bang your hot sister, even though it’s totally not cool. Also it would further damage the ozone layer, causing global warming which would lead to the deaths of lots of baby dolphins.

Prop 69 is a necessary Amendment. The “nine or higher” requirement is confusing and unfair. Who decides “9 or higher”? Your bro can’t because he wants to bang her. You can’t, because thinking about the hotness of your sister is super gross. Closing this loophole is best for Bro/Bro relations, Bro/Sister relations, and the planet.

There is no con to this proposition.

So get out there and vote! The power of change rests in your hands. (Except not really because this proposition is totally passing I don’t care how many “no” votes it gets.)