Guys, you’re never gonna believe this, but I made a mistake. I know, right? Me! The Barnacle! The Barn-Burner! The Chicken-Barn Sandwich!

Anyway, remember when I said that “End of the World” Sex is the best sex of all time? Well, there are a few more options that I left out/just thought of that are equally important.

The list, like my deal, is extensive. Let’s dive right in, shall we?

“You Just Qualified for Rent Control” Sex
“They Dropped the Charges” Sex
“It’s Only Tuesday?” Sex
“Jurassic Park Becomes A Real Thing” Sex
“Broken Turnstile Leading to Free Subway Ride” Sex
“Harrison and Lennon Come Back as Zombies and Force McCartney and Ringo to Start Touring Again… Or Even Just McCartney” Sex
“The Test Came Back Negative” Sex
“The ‘Shawshank’ Remake with Ryan Gosling Rumor is False” Sex
“They’re Going to Settle” Sex
“Your Music Video About Suits Just Went Viral” Sex
“She Doesn’t Quite Understand English” Sex
“Sex with a Stripper” Sex
“Sex with an Australian Girl” Sex
“Sex with a Flight Attendant” Sex
“Sex With an Australian Flight Attendant Who Moonlights as a Stripper” Sex
“Just Convinced Her I’m the Ambassador to Pangea” Sex
“The Milk Has Only Been Expired for a Day or Two” Sex
“Skynet Just Became Self-Aware” Sex
“In & Out Burger’s Coming to New York?!” Sex
“New iPhone Announcement” Sex
“It’s Still Only Tuesday?” Sex
“My Best-Selling Book, ‘The Bro Code and ‘The Playbook’ Are Available Wherever Fine Books Are Sold” Sex
“I Just Got Laid” Sex
“During TSA Screening” Sex
“Post TSA Screening” Sex
“We’re Seriously, Like, Three Years from Time Travel” Sex
“Banned from the Yankee Stadium Kiss Cam” Sex
“It’s Supposed to Rain This Weekend” Sex
“I Just Saved a Buck or Two on Car Insurance” Sex
“Flag Day” Sex