Recently I came close to admitting defeat on a challenge issued by one of my nay-saying friends. Fortunately I was able to rally in the final hour and snare a lady while talking like a little boy, thereby avoiding my first ever failure.

This brush with dishonor got me thinking about my running list of challenges I plan to complete in my lifetime. Here it is:


Pick up a chick whilst talking like a little boy

Lick the Liberty Bell

Tame a cougar

Overalls = Sex

Strike out a Major League batter


Pulitzer / Nobel

Own an island


Miss America

Wear the Crown Jewels

High-five the moon

Drive the pope-mobile

Debunk gravity

24 chicks, 24 time-zones

“Pay only in pennies day”

Walk to Connecticut

Ride a baby giraffe

Conduct a symphony in Lincoln Center

Seduce a woman with my eyes closed and my hands tied behind my back

Achieve Nirvana in less than an hour

Suction-cup to the top of the Empire State Building

Urinate in all seven seas

Fist-bump a king

Go “business casual” for half a day


Now if I can only find someone to challenge me on these…