Author: Barney Stinson

Bangevator Conversion Kit

How many times has this happened to you?  You’ve got two people who want to get-it-on trapped in an elevator, but they refuse to bang!  Well fret no more, friends, because after several minutes of research and development, I’m...

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Weigh to go

When you meet a chick you think you might marry one day, the first question you ask yourself is: “DEAR LORD, HOW DID I EVER GET MYSELF INTO THIS MESS?!?!”  If you can somehow answer that question, the next question is obvious:...

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Another grate idea

Like any red-blooded American, from time to time I find myself needing to crawl through an air duct.  Be it to furtively take pictures of ladies in the restroom, escape when they catch you in the act, or hide from authorities...

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Wedding Questionnaire

CHICKEN, FISH, OR WHINY CHICK WHO JUST WANTS TO TALK? Anyone who has ever attended a destination wedding knows how important it is on Friday night to choose the right bang buddy.  Saddle up with a stud and the next two days are...

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Fake Listening

People often ask how I got so good at pretending to listen and I always answer, “Totally.”  No matter where you go someone’s going to try to tell you something boring, be it an irate boss, a dying grandparent, or a police...

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