Barney's Blog

The splendiferous adventures…

The splendiferous adventures of fluffernutter and the handsome man in the suit

What up, bros and hotties! I recently made a new friend and I wanted to share his story with you:

Once upon a time there was an old farmer who lived in an old farmhouse. And next to that old farmhouse was an old barn. And next to that that old barn was an old hayfield. And next to that old hayfield was an old rusty tractor. And under that old rusty tractor was a magical rabbit warren. And in that magical rabbit warren was a rabbit mommy. And in that rabbit mommy was a rabbit daddy.

Not long thereafter, the rabbit mommy had twelve rabbit babies. The littlest one was named Fluffernutter. He was as white as a crisp dress shirt, and as soft as a stripper’s boa. Life was just dandy for young Fluffernutter until things became not-so-magical in the magical rabbit warren. The rabbit mommy made the rabbit daddy smoke his cigars outside, stop going to strip clubs, and spend less money on rare and collectible Star Wars memorabilia. Realizing that monogamy is a social construct and isn’t meant for rabbits or humans, Fluffernutter decided to hop to the big city to find a much more magical place to live.

First, Fluffernutter went to an apartment with a short, sassy redhead and a tall man who thundered on and on about mythical creatures and boring water resource statutes. In one of the rooms, the couple kept a screaming demon in a cage that kept trying to share his half-digested carrots with poor Fluffernutter. This place was not magical.

Next, Fluffernutter went to live with a nerdy man with laughably atrocious taste in clothing. The nerdy man’s apartment smelled like musty architecture books, hairspray, and sexual desperation. Fluffernutter didn’t think Ted’s place was very magical either.

Finally, Fluffernutter met a handsome man in a suit… like, stupid handsome. The handsome man in the suit lived in a kickass apartment with lots of awesome Star Wars memorabilia that will almost certainly appreciate in value over the years, so maybe the handsome man in the suit’s lovely new fiancée should think of them as an “investment” and not “grown-up geek toys.”

One day, the lovely new fiancée’s psychotic father came to visit and tried to make the handsome man in the suit harm Fluffernutter. The handsome man in the suit saved Fluffernutter and the two became best friends and lived happily ever after… and definitely didn’t have to say goodbye forever when the lovely new fiancée made the handsome man in the suit take little Fluffy to the animal shelter and then work through the resulting uncontrollable sobbing sessions by writing fictional stories about Fluffernutter.


  • That really was a tear jerking story. poor Fluffernutter.

  • Helin Stinson

    I love ur blog! Please sex Barney!!! xx

    • Best Bro

      Warning, Barnacle: she has the crazy eyes. On the other hand, boobs.

  • Guest

    I love u!!

  • Tongue click

    Did you break bro code again by doing Ted’s mom?

    • Seamus Emrys Jellison

      bro Article 19 states A bro shall not sleep with another bro’s sister unless she is a 9 or higher therefore banging his mom is/was not a violation of the bro code.

  • wow hahahaah, i am recently watching the HIMYM for the second time, when does the Season 9 come?

  • Aaw poor little rabbit… :(

  • test


  • Dan

    Long time reader, first time poster. I’m writing to inform Barney of a new play.

    Angela pretends to have breast cancer to have another woman, let’s call her Jill, consent to doing the horizontal mambo with her. Angela poses as a doctor and contacts Jill through Yahoo Instant Messenger, because as we all know, that’s how doctors usually get in contact with people. Pretend doctor Angela tells Jill that the only treatment for this form of breast cancer is to stimulate hormones and that Jill “must participate in sexual activity [with Angela] in order to
    bolster this hormone production and possibly save her friend’s life”. And Jill does it.

    True story. And for anyone who thinks I would dare bend the truth when talking to the king of bros, here’s a link to the news article covering the story.

    I do have one question though. Is it illegal to impersonate a doctor on Yahoo Instant Messaging? I know it’s illegal to impersonate one in a hospital while performing breast cancer screening, but I don’t know if that applied online.

  • Seamus Emrys Jellison

    Fluffernutter didn’t think Ted’s place was very magical either

  • Necke24

    Greetings from Belgrade, Serbia. Big fan! :)

  • sammyg_12

    LZp – Lately i used to be low on $$ and debts were killing me from all angles! That was Right Until I learned to earn money on the INTERNET. I went to surveymoneymaker point net, and started doing surveys for cash, and really I have been really more able to do my things!! I’m happy, that i did this!!! With all the financial stress these years, I really hope all of you will give it a chance. tEj

  • Best Bro

    Dear Barnacle,
    As your best Bro, I have a serious question….
    Did Ted break the Bro Code by getting back together with your ex-wife?