Barney's Blog




Dear International Olympic Canadian Department of Olympics,

It has come to my attention that you have disqualified Robin Scherbatsky from pole vault competition because she is too tall.  Come on, Canada.  This is the kind of backwards decision-making that leads to mounted police, poutine, and automatic weapons restrictions.  Simply bananas.

Height should not be a mitigating factor when it comes to Robin’s eligibility.  We’re talking about a chick who knows her way around a pole.  Trust me.  Girl can handle the biggest, longest, girthiest, beacon-like, unforgettable pole you throw at her.  If you don’t believe me, I’ve got video.  And as far as being flexible enough to arch her back enough to clear the bar?  No worries there, bro.  Lastly, if you really can’t bend on the height restriction at least let her give it a go on her knees… I think you’ll find she’s a champ down there.

You should also know that ever since you’ve disqualified her, Robin has been super bummed.  And if you’re wondering whether she’s bummed about anything else you can simply throw those doubts out your stupid Canadian window.  There’s simply nothing else at play here regarding her depression.  What she’s upset about is how you’ve forbidden her to vault poles in international competition, and certainly not about having a pregnancy scare after cheating on her boyfriend with me.  Like I said, pole vaulting.  Nothing else.

The point is you’d be lucky to have Robin join your Olympic pole vaulting outfit.  She’s smart, funny, beautiful, loves cigars, pretends to enjoy laser tag enough… What more could you ever want in a girl?  She would bring so much joy to your life.  You’d suddenly feel a compulsion to be the best person you could be.  Imagine waking up every morning to that smile?  And that little half-laugh, half-snort she does when you say something stupid?  What I’m trying to say is that Robin is a fantastic pole vaulter.

I very much appreciate your time, even though as a Canadian it simply isn’t worth that much.

Americanly Yours,

Barney Stinson

  • jalal

    awsume 😀

  • Onasanyagbemi


  • Gjw240

    Legend…..wait for it………..


  • best blog ever. home page in my bro-wser.

    keep the good job bro!

  • Vvchen

    this blog does exist!

  • C’mon, Barney, you’re a little behind on your postings. I think there’s something about that in the Bro Code, right?

  • Akankshash Kala

    Awesome and Legen….




  • Slap Bet Commissioner.

    Just thought you should know that robin could go back and compete at the collegiate level, and also slouch to make herself shorter. Ask Marshall.

  • Danny Laurent

    Barney Stinson and this blog are totally awesome!

  • Tejas Thakur

    Well Barney ‘Barnacle’ Stinson, with respect, I would hate to be the one to break it up to you, but things aren’t cool enough when you write about it. What I’m trying to say here is that you should Video Blog!
    I’d root for Barney the Vlogger!!

  • Chelsea.w

    Barney do you still have feelings for robin because dude it’s what it sounds like…?

  • Aamei1012

    Barney you need to be with Robin.

  • Haha nice photo! Robin have funny face 😀

  • Barney St1nson Is Bae

    Pls marry meh