Barney's Blog

The sex sense

You may have seen that 1999 film with the little blond dude who chats up dead people. You may have also seen him get interrupted by Keyboard Cat on YouTube. Well, I, just like him, have a sixth sense. The only difference? Mine is sex-related and way, way cooler. Let’s call it a “sex sense.” You see, I have the uncanny ability to determine precisely how long it’s been since a lady has last lain with a man. But what if you aren’t as awesome as me and only have a mere five senses? Fear not, for I present to you an easy-to-follow flow chart to help you gauge just how hard-up your potential honey is.

Why is this important? Because there is a very narrow window of opportunity or, “bangotunity,” when a girl’s ready to get down. That window falls between 3 weeks, 2 days, 5 hours and 3 weeks, 2 days, 6 hours. Needless to say, there is no room for error.

  • Vale

    You are awesome!! Or rather… legendary!

  • You’re so wise and awesome. I love you :*

  • Utkarssh

    I love this !! 😀 😀 i wnna meet you neil… ur biggest fan on earth.

  • Nazblue

    Dude, add another bit too … If she checks u out and looks away… She wants u to approach he..jump in; if she doesnt giv a look to any Bro around she is sinking deep in hole of lonliness n hw to get her ex back…nxt target !!!

  • Utkarsh

    neil patrick harris – I want to meet you man.. !!! please respond asap…. my email id- ! 😀 😀 😀 😀 you are awesome man……seriosuly awesome…. im the biggest fan of yours..

  • Zachkempe

    Neil Patrick Harris your awesome i would love to talk by email. i only have 1 question right now how do you play a womanizer in all your recent movies and t.v shows like ” how i met your mother ” and the two movies ” harold & kumar ” cuz i know your gay and thinks it’s cool you admit your gay unlike alot of people my email is ”