Oh Canada!

I am not Canadian. How do I know this? Because I’m not terrible. Here are just a few of the infinite number of reasons why America is better than Canada…

Comparison USA and Canada

 

  Cana-duh The United States of Awesome
Population 34.6 million 312 million (over 10x bigger!)
Official Language French and English American
Government Federal parliamentary democracy and constitutional monarchy Not sure, but it’s gotta be better than Canada’s!

Flag

Three stripes and a maple leaf Thirteen stripes and fifteen stars. Note to Canada: To clarifiy that’s fifty massive, luminous balls of plasma, that through the monoculear fusion create the energy that powers the entire universe. But definitely stick with the leaf. That’ll get you laid.
Currency The loonie Not the loonie
Favorite sport Hockey Every other sport ever
National anthem "O Canada" "The Star Spangeled Banner" Note to Canada: The title of you anthem is hilariously appropriate.
Landmarks Niagara Falls Niagara Falls AND the Playboy Mansion
General Demeanor Polite Aggressive, nasty, bitter, resentful… In short, kick-ass
Law enforcement Mountie John McClane
Gun policy Individuals who wish to possess firearms must have a valid possession license and must complete the Canadian Firearms Safety Course, weas well as passing a background check and waiting the mandatory 28 day waiting period fire away
Healthcare system Universal and free Poor people die
Famous musicians Celine Dion, Rush, Bare Naked Ladies, Bryan Adams, Paul Anka, Alanis Morissette, Gordon Lightfoot, Nickleback Jon Bon Jovi
Best place to eat Tim Horton’s Hooters
Chicks Pam Anderson Really? Pam Anderson? First of all, she’s super old. Second of all, when she wasn’t old, do you know where she went? I’ll gicve you a hint: It’s direcly south of you and has hotter chicks
  • Justin Boeing

    spelled give wrong lol… interesting tho justin bieber wasnt mentioned :P
    kidding its probs on purpose

    • guest person

      haha…justin bieber isn’t cool enough to be on this blog…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1179493639 Hayden Wilson

    wow i am a Canadian, but still i can’t argue with anything you say

  • Mario – Kun

    funny, I’m reading all this in my mind with his AWSOME voice XD

    • Fleur_delist

      yeahhh!!! me too XD
      I think we just got barney’s awesomeness virus LOL!

    • A A

      thats little barney talking

  • Canadianchick

    312 million is not 10 times bigger than 34.6 million, so obviously the American education system is lacking ;)
    barneys awesome but Canada’s 10 times better than the states!

  • http://twitter.com/NoahCoates NoahCoates

    Funny it is legendary

  • Karli Udso

    These points just prove that Canada is better. :D Better health care, better gun policies etc..

  • Dylanliu

    Law enforcement Mountie John McClane
    This alone shows the difference in awesomeness.

  • http://www.xufe.com/England-Premier-League/   Premier League

    Nice tutor.Well your way of representation is really interesting & informative.I like this.Keep in touch with us in future too.

  • http://www.tennisworldusa.org/ tennis news

    Great information you have shared with us.I would never have normally come here to read the blogs but I’m really glad I did. I will definitely be coming back.

  • analuisa

    In Canadia’s famous musicians you missed out Robin Sparkles, deadmau5, and Justin Bieber.
    And, yes, here the word is ‘Canadia’ (I’m in Britain), like R.o.I is ‘Eire’.

  • analuisa

    Here’s one I made earlier:

    The
    United Kingdoms of ABSOLUTELY AMAZING Britain
    and Northern Ireland

    Population

    c. 65 million

    Official Language

    English, Cymru, Gaelic, Scottish
    Gaelic, Irish, Celtic, Ulster Scots, Scots, Cornish, (Olde) Anglican, Yorke

    Government

    Parliamentary democracy and
    constitutional monarchy,

    Flag

    Union Flag (unless flown at sea,
    then the Union Jack): St George’s Cross (white with red ‘+’) on top of Saint
    Andrew’s Cross (blue with white ‘x’) on top of Saint Patrick’s Cross (white
    with red ‘x’)

    Currency

    Pound Sterling (Quid), livestock

    Favourite sport

    Cricket, Football (not ‘soccer’), Golf, Rugby, Rounders

    National anthem

    “God Save the Queen” – UK,
    Commonwealth
    Also note: “Londonderry Air” – N.I.; “Land of
    Hope and Glory” (honorary) – England; “Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau” – Wales; “Scots
    Wha Hae”, “Scotland the Brave” (honorary) – Scotland

    Landmarks

    London Eye, Houses of Parliament,
    Buckingham Palace, 221B Baker Street, the BBC, Westminster Abbey, Stonehenge,
    Giant’s Causeway, Covent Garden, the Mall, Trafalgar Square, all those
    Museums ten times the size of the Smithsonian, pretty much anything, really.
    Heck, my school is older than America, come visit that!

    General Demeanour

    Polite-ish. Depends, really.

    Law enforcement

    Bobbies/ Cop(per)s/ (the) Fuzz

    Gun policy

    Air rifles, BB guns: fire away
    Others: prove you can shoot it,
    then fire away!

    Healthcare system

    Universal and free

    Famous musicians

    Van Morrison, Katherine Jenkins, Spice
    Girls – Victoria Beckham – Emma Bunton – Melanie ‘Mel’ C, Tom Jones, Dame
    Gwyneth Jones, Sir Geraint Evans, Aled Jones, Dame Anne Evans, Bonnie Tyler,
    Charlotte Church, Dame Shirley Bassey, Duffy, Manic Street Preachers,
    Stereophonics, Lostprophets, The Hennesseys, Thomas Tallis, William Byrd,
    Henry Purcell, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Elton John, Queen, Rod
    Stewart, The Rolling Stones, Jessie J, Ed Sheeran, Chameleon Circuit, Girls
    Aloud – Cheryl Cole, Arthur Sullivan, Gustav Holst, Edward Elgar, Hubert
    Parry, Ralph Vaughan Williams, Benjamin Britten, The Verve, Radiohead,
    Catatonia, Travis, Elbow, Embrace, Starsailor, Doves, Keane, Snow Patrol,
    Coldplay, Take That – Robbie Williams, Franz Ferdinand, Editors, The
    Fratellis, Placebo, Razorlight, Kaiser Chiefs, The Kooks, Arctic Monkeys, Amy
    Winehouse, Paloma Faith, the Sugababes, Leona Lewis, The Wanted, One
    Direction, Laura Marling, Noah and the Whale, Mumford & Sons, Johnny Flynn,
    Will Young, Gareth Gates, Natasha Bedingfield, Joss Stone, Adele, Jay Sean, Findlay
    Napier and the Bar Room Mountaineers, Pearl and the Puppets, Dizzee Rascal,
    Lady Sovereign, Taio Cruz, Example, Tinchy Stryder, Chipmunk, Tinie Tempah,
    Roll Deep, Plan B, Gorillaz, Lily Allen, KT Tunstall, Little Boots, Ellie
    Goulding, La Roux, James Blunt, Muse

    Best place to eat

    Maxwell’s (Covent Garden), T. G. I.
    Friday’s, KFC

    Chicks

    the Queen, Karen Gillan, Jenna-Louise Coleman –
    all those off ‘Doctor Who’, Princess Catherine Duchess of Cambridge, Jessica
    Brown-Findlay – all those off ‘Downton Abbey’, Zoe Salmon – all those off
    Blue Peter, etcetera.

    As you can see, SO much better here in Britain, in Europa (that’s what we call ‘Europe’) compared to Canadia and the States.

  • CanadaChick

    What is /awesome/ about this is that this all makes Canada seem so much better. I am Canadian, though… soo.. and besides, who doesn’t think our mounties are awesome??? Besides, Barney is Canadian…. so it /must/ be awesome!

  • LEGENDARY

    I’M A PROUD CANADIAN :D

  • Kieran

    Lol I’m from Canada and know that 50% is true and btdub we have the Canadian dollar not the loonie the loonie is just a one dollar coin
    Racism aside I love the blog keep it up
    -kieran lacroix

  • Barney’s #199 chick

    People! Don’t you get it? It’s just Barney being Barney…

    P.S. We want Robin Sparkles in concert! Can’t stop singing “Let’s go to the mall” !!!

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