The holidays often bring about strong feelings in people: nostalgia, thankfulness, and, of course, horniness. That means for gents and ladies on the prowl, you don’t necessarily need to bring your A-game. In fact, the holidays present the perfect opportunity to utilize the minimum effort required of mankind’s most basic move – the pick-up line.
HISTORICAL FACTOID: Did you know that the first pick-up line was actually the first instance of human language? A Neanderthal man approached a hairy Neanderthal chick and said: “If I show you my bone will you show me your cave?”
Here are some lazy but effective lines to try out during the holidays:
Presidents’ Day: I’d like to visit YOUR oval office.
Groundhog Day: My hog can’t help but see his shadow.
Valentine’s Day: Single?
St. Patrick’s Day: I will shamrock your world.
Arbor Day: I wanna make you bark. / Check out my trunk. / I’d like to give you my branch and then leave. (Treeway tie)
Cinco De Mayo: Wanna have breakfast on Sixo de Mayo?
Memorial Day: You make it hard to fly my flag at half-staff.
Labor Day: It’s Labor Day, baby, why are you workin’ it?
Election Day: More like “Erection Day!”
Thanksgiving: Anything involving stuffing!