Barney's Blog

Hard to get

If you read my blog often, or simply live on this planet, you know that 100% of ladies play “hard-to-get.” Recently, my best friend Ted and I found ourselves in an uncomfortable situation: a beautiful girl at the bar was stroking his arm and looking deep into his eyes, but the straw in her drink… was pointing towards me. To a trained seduction artist like myself, it was obvious that this girl was teasing me with a classic game of “hard-to-get,” while poor Ted was playing his own classic game of “gettin’ hard”… a game he only plays with himself.

Here are ten other instances in which it may appear that a girl is uninterested, but is actually just playing “hard-to-get.”

1. If she tells you she’s “married.”
This is chick-code for “I haven’t done it in months, take me now.”

2. If you’re blocking her path to the bathroom and she says, “Pardon me.”
Take away the P, A, R, and N and you have “Do me.” It doesn’t get much clearer than that. She wants you to join her in stall #3.

3. If she slaps you.
You know what they say: any physical contact is good contact. Be sure to establish a “safe word” beforehand. I recommend “help!”

4. If she insists the bouncers escort you out of the bar.
She wants to get you away from her friends and have you all to herself.

5. If she’s eating pretzels.
Wants you to wrap her legs up in knots. Duh.

6. If the email she gives you ends with
She wants your junk, not your junk mail. No post-coital conversation required.

7. If she refuses your offer to buy her a drink.
She wants you to buy her dinner instead – in which case, bail. That’s way too much effort when there’s probably a girl nearby eating pretzels.

8. If she doesn’t answer your phone calls.
She’s letting your calls go to voicemail so she can listen to your voice over and over and over again. She horny!

9. If she’s buttoning up her jacket and turning her body away from you.
She’s teasing you by covering up her heaving bosom.

10. If she pulls you aside and says, “Seriously. You need to stop stalking me. You’ve been creeping me out all night. I’m about to call the cops.”
Wink! It doesn’t get much “harder to get” than that.

  • jin

    I love the show…<3

  • Danni sinding


  • Tyrell GOVENDER

    hahaha internet 5!!!!

  • 9uhiouhioB

    This is the best blog I have ever read!.. Well actually, this is the only blog I read..

  • Nazblue

    Damn … U r Good 😉

  • Amanda Montbriand


  • Xsunkissed

    wow and i thought us girls weren’t easy to read! but you read us like a book

  • MissAwesome

    Oh yeah, that’s why eat pretzels with hot guys, not! Usually this blog is pretty great but this time… are you freakin’ kiddin’ me?

  • Dsumit22

    This is Awesome!!!!

  • Legendary

    Following up with number four , Step one become friends with a bouncer , step 2 go to friends house steal bouncer shirt , step 3 put shirt on under suite arrive on dance floor ( sad to say take off awesome suite) ask the girl to leave the club, and when she gets upset( vulnerable) tell her there is only one way she can get back into the club, promise her free drinks for life. I call this the bounce-her. True story!

  • andrew mthembu

    best off the beat # Awesomely awesome