Recently, I was forced to hang out with a group of Ted’s college students. I decided to make the most of a terrible, terrible situation and use them as a focus group for all the existential questions that Ted and I have debated over the years. I’ve transcribed the questions so that you can play along at home. (SEE ANSWERS BELOW)
Is macaroni salad really a salad?
Which is correct: Jacob James Olmos or Edward James Olmos?
Is David Hasselhoff awesome?
Rib-eye or bone-in filet?
Who wants five bucks?
Is Minka Kelly hot?
Weekend at Bernie’s or Weekend at Bernie’s 2?
Verizon or AT&T?
Beach or pool?
Paper or plastic?
Condoms or abstinence?
(For the ladies) Do you want to sleep with me?
1: Yes; 2: Jacob; 3: Obviously; 4: Bone-in (kaboom!); 5: Ted; 6: Yes. I would’ve also accepted “hell yes”; 7: Doesn’t matter, both are spectacular; 8: Don’t care, I’m on burners; 9: Boobs! Sorry, what was the question?; 10: Canvas, you wasteful jerk; 11: Hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! 12: Yes