As many of you know, my good friends Marshall and Lily recently had a son, Marvin Waitforit Eriksen. While that instantly turns them into two lame-os who can’t stay out past 6pm, at least Lily’s breasts have gotten bigger.
Obviously Marvin will turn out okay with his Uncle Barney there to watch over him, ensuring that he makes the right decisions at all of life’s cross-roads, like which tie to wear (blue and red stripes), which girl to take to the prom (the one with the biggest cans), or which college to attend (NOT the one his prom date is going to).
But what about the millions of parents who don’t have someone like me to guide their child to the highest levels of awesome-vana? Fear not, for help is here!
That’s right, the fourth book in the Barney canon is available now, wherever awesome books are sold!
With songs, illustrations, fairy tales, and practical information like what baby cocktail to feed your little squirt, The Bro Code For Parents ensures that you will raise a legendary kid.*
If you or someone you know recently had a baby, is going to, or is even entertaining the notion of cranking one out, this is the only parenting guide you will ever need.
* DISCLAIMER: Purchase of book does not guarantee your kid will come out remotely as awesome as Barney Stinson but come on, he’ll at least be way cooler than you.