About Barney “Barnabus” Stinson (Updated Feb. 2013)
Yes, Barnabus. It’s a legen… wait for it… dary name of only the manliest of men. Though, you can already see that through my blog. I am a man, in my early thirties in New York. I work as Head of the Search Committee at Goliath National Bank, the most prominent and amazing of banks in this nation. Or years, I lived by the “Bro Code“, my own code of rules that should be applied to every bro in this nation.
In the Bronation.
I am a man of opportunity. I have exhibited eloquence, wit, and creativity in my group of friends. I am also highly competitive, and have added a list of challenges to be completed by myself and by the other Bros wishing to prove themselves in this cruel world. The list had been increasing since my best friend Ted won’t stop challenging me. I think he looks up to me, that scoundrel. But he is a good bro, inside.
Speaking of what’s inside. I’m a magician. And I’m one of the most legendary filmmakers of this time. You can see my flawless skills in my video resume. I know. It’s flawless. But I can’t make them for just anyone. I tried making one for Robin, but, that didn’t go too well. Oh, “who’s Robin?” you may ask? She’s the most amazing person on this planet. Earlier this year I proposed to her, and she accepted. She’s the hottest woman in New York, and the classiest Scotch-drinking, Cigar-smoking, Canadian I know, and I can’t wait to make her my classy, Scotch-drinking, Cigar-smoking, Canadian wife.
My Family and Friends:
I was born in 1976 and was raised in Staten Island. When I was younger, my mother, Loretta, told me that my father was Bob Barker, longtime host of The Price Is Right, and it sounded very reasonable. I mean, how awesome is Bob Barker? Later on in life, I found out that my father is a man by the name of Jerome Whittaker, And when I found him, I ended up finding a whole new family to add into my life. My stepmother, Cheryl, half brother, J.J. and half sister Carly. I have another brother, James, who I grew up with, and unlike me, is African American and gay. Which is awesome, and he has his two kids, Eli and Sadie.
Ted Mosby, my best friend, is a great bro. He’s kind of emotional sometimes, and doesn’t know what he’s talking about sometimes, but he’s a great friend. He and I opened a bar together, “Puzzles” Check it out here.
Marshall, Lily, and Marvin Wait For It Erickson:
Marshall and Lily have been around since forever, and after getting married, they decided to have Marvin. Marvin will become a legend, because I christened him with the awesome middle name… Wait for it.
Awesome, right? I just made that kid’s future 1000% better in a snap.
And then there’s Robin. She’s always been there. For the longest time, we came to an understanding that we both had feelings for one another, and we were on again off again. And I drove her crazy by dating Patrice, but finally, I played the ultimate play from my personal playbook. Turns out she’s the one. I burned my personal Playbook and proposed to Robin last December, She was the last play in the playbook. And she accepted. We’re due to get married any day now.
Short Timeline of my life:
1976: The year I was born. The year of greatness
1976-2005: A blur of an awesome.
2005: I met Ted, and through him, Robin, Lily, and Marshall.
In 2008, the book The Bro Code, ostensibly written by me, was published.
2009: GNB takes over Altrucell
2010: I found out about my birthfather and I was featured in a Super Bowl commercial that showed me in the stands at the Super Bowl with a sign. I mean, how much more legendary can I get? I don’t think it’s possible, and yet I do it.
2012: the year I proposed to Robin.
2013: the year Robin and I are going to get married.
Awesome. Trustworthy. Punctual. Detail-oriented. Some of the few words to describe my awesomeness. There are so many more that you will see through my blog posts.
If you have anything to ask me, click on the upper contact button, or comment on my posts. Stay awesome, bros of the world.